From handling emails and meetings to cleaning poops and singing lullabies — a typical day in my maternity leave

It is 11:30 PM as I start writing this article. My husband and mom have told me to go to bed, almost a 100 times by now. But I resist today. I have been thinking of writing this article for weeks now. And every day, by the time my daughter hits the bed, I am dead tired to let my creative mind at work. But today, I really feel compelled to write. Perhaps, the fear that I am never going to get a creative time once I join back the corporate world next week drives me today. I pick up my laptop and start typing.

Sometimes I feel, I may never become the same woman , the same person again. I don’t regret it though. That was a phase of life and this is another — a much more special one than any previous phase. For, in this phase , I am nurturing a human life. In this phase, I am not chasing salary increments and promotions. In this phase, another human being is seeking my full attention, love and commitment. As I write this piece, my daughter is 8 month old now. And ever since she has been born, there has been no looking back.

Since the day she was born, I have not slept for more than two hours at a stretch. Once in a blue moon, the stretch becomes two and a half hour. But never more. And this sleepless state holds true for my husband too; who despite so much coaxing to go and rest in another room for at least one night; always wants to share the responsibilities.

My husband needed to join back work after one month of our daughter’s birth. I have been lucky to have gotten six official months of maternity leave. And another two months of leaves due to other policies and accumulated vacations. In fact, ever since my daughter turned 5 months, I have been thinking of how I would manage to go back to work along with taking good care of my daughter. And week by week, I have been postponing getting back. As much as I was able to and the team could afford.

As much as my work is demanding and stretches across time zones, my daughter does not understand any of it. She refuses to feed from a bottle. Even today, she does not understand the meaning of solid food. After weeks of training her, I can now offer her half a bowl of cereal throughout the day. And even then, right after the cereal, she feels the need to feed off me. Perhaps, it is her way of feeling secure in this new world.

My little one, who gets up, even before dawn breaks wants to play right after opening her eyes. She is learning to stand. She is beginning to crawl. She wakes up and keeps looking at me for a minute, hoping I too shall open my eyes. If I don’t, she crawls and comes to me . She then tries to wake me up, pulling my hair , putting her finger in my nose or standing with my support. The moment I open my eyes, she smiles so brightly that the world lightens up. My husband and mom give me a few hours of sleep in the morning. While they take care of our little one, I rest.

It is around 9 AM that I wake up and feed her. I then sit with a cup of tea and the morning newspapers. We have our breakfast around 10 and then enjoy a round of walk post that. Sometimes, my little one takes a nap in her stroller. Other days, she enjoys the views. We come home and ready her. By then, it is time to cook for the afternoon. The cook comes, the menu gets decided and a sumptuous meal is prepared. My mom takes care of all the logistics of the house, while I take care of the baby. Both of these are full person jobs and need dedicated time and attention.

Ever since I have been feeding my daughter, my own hunger has grown manifold. By the time, the food gets ready, I am dying to eat. As soon as the cook leaves, I serve my plate and enjoy the food, while my husband takes care of the baby. When I am done, he eats. I cook a fresh meal for my daughter and spend the next one hour in feeding her. Immediately after the solid food, she feels hungry. As if, the food needs to be digested and milk is needed for that. Sometimes she sleeps after the feed for some 20 minutes. I am too tired by then and often doze off along side.

I try to read a page of some book in between. But my little one, who wants to play all the time, gives me a cute smile. And there goes the book. I try to pick the phone but she has a curiosity for phones. And so, we try to be careful not to overdo screen time in front of her. Even our television gets switched on, on rare evenings when she sleeps early.

In the evenings, me and my husband go for walks while mum takes care of the baby. On some evenings, she goes along. After another round of feed, clean and play, she starts feeling sleepy around 8 PM. Once she sleeps, we have our dinner. On most days, she wakes up feeling scared in the room and starts crying. She needs to be patted back to bed, often multiple times. On some, when I am lucky, she does not wake up that often.

I make myself a cup of tea. This is the most relaxed cup of the day. I enjoy every sip as I check my phone and messages. I think of how I can make use of the next 1–2 hours. Mostly they go in cleaning the rooms, preparing for the night and the next morning, taking stock of the groceries for the next day, tracking deliveries, returns and refunds, paying bills, returning phone calls and messages, some online browsing. And of course, making sure there are enough diapers around, buying new clothes, toys, baby gears and what not. The list of purchases for you has only grown. I am extremely distracted to do anything productive.

I have read not more than 3 books in these 8 months. And most of them have been light reads. I have hardly written anything. Except of course, by the grace of God, I have been gifted to share my motherhood journey through 4 line short poetries. I have started a facebook and insta handle , sharing these poetries with illustrations being done by a professional.

When I started my maternity leave, I had these vague notions that I would be reading a lot of books in these six months; perhaps also write my 5th one on my pregnancy journey. Little did I know how the days, weeks and months would go in taking care of the little one. I hardly get time to comb my hair, forget a complete grooming time and a visit to the salon.

There is some monotony in these days. And yet, every smile of hers makes it unique and special. Every new activity of hers is a reason to enjoy this monotony.

My husband has been a full support in my transition from a busy professional to a busy mother. He appreciates my grocery planning as much as he appreciates the complexity of my professional work. He is an equal partner in upbringing my daughter, more so thanks to the work from home flexibility. He is as open to my taking a corporate job as becoming a full time mommy.

As I prepare to get back to my corporate job in a week’s time, I do want to say that I have begun to appreciate homemakers around me, much more than I did before. They have a huge role in maintaining the sanity of the house. I have lost touch with the days of the week or month. I get frustrated sometimes with the monotony. And yet, there is so much meaning in this existence. The existence of nurturing a family.